姐想練英文，翻了個譯，求英語帝指點！

serena718

老娘覺得自己英文就是個渣渣，為了讓渣渣提升為屑屑的境界，決定練英文了！
剛翻了個歌詞，求論壇內英語帝指點錯誤，主要是文法上的！

《春泥》作詞：伊能靜／作曲：庾澄慶／編曲：吳慶隆

漫天的話語　紛亂落在耳際
The words through all over the sky fall chaotically on the ears.
你我沉默不回應
We do not respond to that in silence.
牽你的手　你卻哭紅了眼睛
Holding your hands but you cry your eyes out.
路途漫長無止盡
The way endless without destination.

多想提起勇氣　好好的呵護你
How much do I want to pick up the courage to take good care of you.
不讓你受委屈　苦也願意
To prevent the wrongs you have suffered even though feeling pain.
那些痛的記憶　落在春的泥土裡
Those memories of pain fall into the soil of spring.
滋養了大地　開出下一個花季
Nourishing the ground to bloom the next flowering season.
風中你的淚滴　滴滴落在回憶裡
Your teardrop in the wind fall into the memories drop by drop.
讓我們取名叫做珍惜
Let us named it treasure.

迷霧散盡　一切終於變清晰
Everything is distinct as the fog cleared in the end.
愛與痛都成回憶
The love and the pain both turn into the memories.
遺忘過去　繁花燦爛在天際
Forgetting the past , the flowers glitter in the sky.
等待已有了結局
Expectation has been the ending.

我會提起勇氣　好好地呵護你
I will pick up the courage to take good care for you.
不讓你受委屈　苦也願意
To prevent the wrongs you have suffered even though feeling pain.

那些痛的記憶　落在春的泥土裡
Those memories of pain fall into the soil of spring.
滋養了大地　開出下一個花季
Nourishing the ground to bloom the next flowering season.
風中你的淚滴　滴滴落在回憶裡
Your teardrop in the wind fall into the memories drop by drop.
讓我們取名叫做珍惜
Let us named it treasure.

漫天紛飛的花語　落在春的泥土裡
The words through all over the sky fall into the soil of spring.
滋養了大地　開出下一個花季
Nourishing the ground to bloom the next flowering season.
風中你的淚滴　滴滴落在回憶裡
Your teardrop in the wind fall into the memories drop by drop.
讓我們取名叫做珍惜
Let us named it treasure.

那些痛的記憶　落在春的泥土裡
Those memories of pain fall into the soil of spring.
滋養了大地　開出下一個花季
Nourishing the ground to bloom the next flowering season.
風中你的淚滴　滴滴落在回憶裡
Your teardrop in the wind fall into the memories drop by drop.
讓我們取名叫做珍惜
Let us named it treasure.

讓我們懂得學會珍惜
Let us know to learn the treasure.

越前リョーマ

中文歌词翻译成英文挺难的，还好这个比较白话点  - -

gaofei677

个人感觉楼主大概是字对字的直译，我觉的楼主要翻译，最好以整句话为单位翻译，不要以单词为单位
in my opinion, u'd better not translate from words to words, but sentences to sentences.
虽然我英语也一般，个人愚见而已

精灵使者

我的想法，单词量和词汇量最好积累的多些，这样翻译会更加游刃有余。

夏尔萝塔

汉译英是真的难,绝不是会用英语会用汉语就可以做到的
单纯练英语的话方法很多,练英译汉的话可以考虑订点杂志像译林什么的

v2sam

润色才是重点，要不和翻译机有啥区别？

一瞬间的幻觉

歌词翻译的话和文体翻译又有所不同，要多一些生机在里面，不必拘泥于字面意思

serena718

那啥，大家都說要修飾、潤色……重點是有沒有人幫我揪文法的錯物啊，跪求了
先別拘泥於中文上的意思了，先幫我看我這樣寫有沒有大問題啊。。。

Яков

亂入一下~
英文個人真的不擅長，不過如果斐夜需要俄文翻譯可以找我XDDD
另外如果需要俄文的詩歌我也可以幫忙，給我一個大致需要的意境我可以幫忙找~

精灵使者

俄文啊。
勾起我大学的回忆了，不过精灵那时是日文班。
恩恩