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[随意闲聊] Is there anybody who is good at English?Lend me a hand

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Lv1.梦旅人

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第5届短篇游戏比赛季军

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 楼主| 发表于 2013-2-16 12:37:01 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式

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I am going to attend an independent enrollment interview of a university.An appropriate introduction is needed.Following is the draft,which I hope you can help me to polish and correct some grammar mistakes I made.Because this is an oral introduction,the diction should not be to formal.

I'm XXX,from XXX High School.My hobby is computer programming.I bought many books about Ruby,C++,Delphi,OpenGL and Assembly language,and I learned them myself when I was in junior high school.So,two years ago,I coded an OpenGL-based multi-threaded graphics engine and subconsequently built a website and earned a fortune.
Because of this experience where I had to log on some foreign forums such as OpenGL.org to discuss some technical topics in English,I realized the importance of English.As a result,I made it a rule to listen to English podcasts every day;and keep an English diary every night.Gradually,English has become part and parcel of my life.Ultimately,I devoted myself to major in English.This is not a compromise,but I will learn programming myself or minor in it and try starting my own business while in university.My dream is to own a business of myself,not just to be a self-employed freelancer.I motto is where there is a will there is a way,so I believe I can make it with my will!
Fijoy游戏引擎:http://www.fijoy.com/

Lv1.梦旅人

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第5届短篇游戏比赛季军

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 楼主| 发表于 2013-2-16 12:39:46 | 只看该作者
Of course you should teach me to pronunce those technical terms.....such as Delphi..
Fijoy游戏引擎:http://www.fijoy.com/
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Lv2.观梦者

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发表于 2013-2-16 12:40:32 | 只看该作者
本帖最后由 R-零 于 2013-2-16 12:49 编辑


I am going to attend an independent enrollment interview of a university.
我正在参加一场大学自主招生考试
An appropriate introduction is needed.
需要一份合适的简介
Following is the draft,which I hope you can help me to polish and correct some grammar mistakes I made.
下面是草稿,我希望大家可以帮我找出并指正一些语法错误
Because this is an oral introduction,the diction should not be to formal.
因为这是口头表述,所以措辞不是很正规
I'm XXX,from XXX High School.My hobby is computer programming.

I bought many books about Ruby,C++,Delphi,OpenGL and Assembly language,and I learned them myself when I was in junior high school.

So,two years ago,I coded an OpenGL-based multi-threaded graphics engine and subconsequently built a website and earned a fortune.

Because of this experience where I had to log on some foreign forums such as OpenGL.

org to discuss some technical topics in English,I realized the importance of English.As a result,I made it a rule to listen to English podcasts every day;

and keep an English diary every night.Gradually,English has become part and parcel of my life.Ultimately,

I devoted myself to major in English.This is not a compromise,

but I will learn programming myself or minor in it and try starting my own business while in university.

My dream is to own a business of myself,not just to be a self-employed freelancer.

I motto is where there is a will there is a way,so I believe I can make it with my will!

点评

i think it is "by myself" not "myself"  发表于 2013-2-16 14:11
无聊用  发表于 2013-2-16 12:49
翻译的意义何在 =3=  发表于 2013-2-16 12:48
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Lv1.梦旅人

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发表于 2013-2-16 13:00:49 | 只看该作者
哪所大学的自主招生是英文简历吗……难道是留学生?
想当初我们大学搞自主招生的时候,也只是考考试而已。

点评

知道了,别晒了  发表于 2013-2-16 13:02
Because the major I chose is English...  发表于 2013-2-16 13:01
一壶浊酒喜相逢,古今多少事,都付笑谈中。
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Lv2.观梦者

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发表于 2013-2-16 13:23:02 | 只看该作者
I'm XXX,from XXX High School.——不加逗号比较好?

So,two years ago,I coded an OpenGL-based multi-threaded graphics engine and subconsequently built a website and earned a fortune.

看得人眼花,你考虑一下阅读者的感受吧....

Because of this experience where I had to log on some foreign forums such as OpenGL.org to discuss some technical topics in English

这个是什么从句为什么where的先行词是experience...?

As a result我觉得在这里用意思不太恰当的样子....

I motto is where there is a will there is a way,so I believe I can make it with my will!

my motto吧?

仅供参考,我只有高中水平的英语...真的仅供参考....
有本事就来阻止我啊,主体单元『天照』!
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Lv1.梦旅人

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发表于 2013-2-16 13:24:16 | 只看该作者
初中的我能说什么……

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其实,上网查一下“翻译”有中文转英文的功能  发表于 2013-2-16 13:27
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Lv1.梦旅人

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发表于 2013-2-16 13:26:26 | 只看该作者
本帖最后由 认真的学 于 2013-2-16 13:39 编辑

大概看了一下,不保证修改的正确性= =

Is there anybody who is good at English? Lend me a hand.

I am going to attend an independent enrollment interview of a university.An appropriate introduction is needed.The Following is the draft,which I hope you can help me to polish and correct some grammar mistakes I made.Because this is an oral introduction,the diction should not be too formal.

I'm XXX,from XXX High School.My hobby is computer programming.I bought many books about Ruby,C++,Delphi,OpenGL and Assembly language,and I learned them myself when I was in junior high school. So ,two years ago,I coded an OpenGL-based multi-threaded graphics engine and subconsequently built a website and earned a fortune.
Because of the experience that I had to log on some foreign forums such as OpenGL.org to discuss some technical topics in English,I realized the importance of English.As a result,I made it a rule to listen to English podcasts every day;and keep an English diary every night.Gradually,English has become part and parcel of my life.Ultimately,I devoted myself to majoring in English.This is not a compromise,but I will learn programming myself or minor in it and try starting my own business while in university.My dream is to own a business of my own,not just to be a self-employed freelancer.My motto is where there is a will there is a way,so I believe I can make it with my will!

点评

唔= =主要是听起来怪怪的= =改一下......  发表于 2013-2-16 13:39
lend me a hand这个说法是完全没有问题的...  发表于 2013-2-16 13:38

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Lv3.寻梦者 (暗夜天使)

名侦探小柯

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开拓者贵宾第3届短篇游戏大赛主流游戏组亚军第5届短篇游戏比赛亚军

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发表于 2013-2-16 13:48:03 | 只看该作者
我同学报港大也是写英文简历的
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Lv3.寻梦者

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发表于 2013-2-16 13:51:19 | 只看该作者
翻译(不知道大家能不能看到我的回复,我怎么看不到?)

我要去参加一个大学的自主招生面试。一个适当的介绍是必要的。以下是该草案,我希望你能帮我润色和纠正一些语法错误。因为这是一种口头介绍,用语不应是正式的。

我叫XXX,来自XXX中学。我的爱好是电脑编程。我买了很多书,红宝石,C++,Delphi,OpenGL和汇编语言,我学会了他们自己当我在初中。所以,两年前,我的一个多线程编码基于OpenGL图形引擎和subconsequently建网站,赚了一大笔钱。

正因为有这样的经历,我必须登录一些外国论坛等opengl.org讨论英语中的一些技术问题,我意识到英语的重要性。因此,我养成了每天听英语广播;每天坚持写英语日记。渐渐地,英语已成为我生活的的重要组成部分。最终,我从事英语专业的。这是一个不妥协,但我会规划自己或辅修学习和尝试自己创业在大学的时候。我的梦想是拥有一个我自己的业务,不仅是一个个体的自由职业者。我的座右铭是哪里有一个将有一种方式,所以我相信我能用我的意志!

点评

确实是…  发表于 2013-2-16 18:26
还真是直白的机翻  发表于 2013-2-16 13:54
《宿愿·寻剑篇》正式版已经发布!快去看看!点击进入论坛发布贴
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Lv1.梦旅人

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发表于 2013-2-16 17:40:37 | 只看该作者
我是一个爱国的人

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爱国很好(^o^)  发表于 2013-2-16 18:27
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